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Happy Birthday Stimulus!

February 17, 2012

Dear Stimulus Package,

Wow, has it already been three years since your birth by the Obama Administration, fathered by a deadbeat Congress?  I know your humble birth made many think that you’d grow up to be a lousy person, but then people remembered others of humble birth… you know, Christ and President Obama (in no particular order).  We were told to have hope for you, that you’d really grow fast and take America with you.

So now that you’re out of your terrible twos (and believe me, plenty of people thought they were terrible), we’d like to hope that you’ve grown out of being a brat that sucks up everything around you and leaves nothing for other hungry programs.  But that’s okay, your parents seem to be willing to go deeply into debt to ensure that all your siblings are fed as well.  When the banks come for your parents, I’m sure they’ll just hit the photocopier for some more cash to pay them.

And my, what an obese child you’ve become!  Even with that, we see your pictures everywhere, with that cute litte logo that makes me all creeped out… hey’s it’s not all your fault.  There are plenty of people who can credit you with a temporary job, and I’m sure all the environmental types are thrilled with the extra building and road grading on formerly dirt roads in the middle of nowhere that REALLY needed to be paved.  Oh, that’s right, all those environmental types are hiding over in the corner pigging out on the cake the Administration bought that’s made out of solar panels.

Well, whatever.  You’ve grown so much.  I can’t believe how much mass you have.  If that just means that you’re really sitting around doing nothing, I can understand.  So are most of the people that are employed because of you.  By the way, could you get off my lap?  I think I’ve lost my will to live since my legs are so numb.

Anyway, happy birthday.  I’m sure we’ll be seeing your effects for years to come.  At least, until the Administration gets knocked up again and births your little brother.


A Taxpayer

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ellend permalink
    February 17, 2012 3:33 pm

    Yep, “little” stimulus package took the country with it all right. Pretty sure it was anywhere I wanted to go. Like that high speed rail project they are still pushing that is already almost 3x over budget even though construction hasn’t even started yet.

    • Ellend permalink
      February 17, 2012 3:35 pm

      Oops – that should have been, “wasn’t anywhere I wanted to go”, but I’m sure you got the drift.

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