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This just in…BREAKING!!!!

November 13, 2011

…..breaking news! This just in!!! 60 Minutes airs an investigative report that indicates members of Congress have been writing legislation and then making millions in their investment portfolios trading on the outcome or consequence of the legislation.

More SHOCKING stories coming in the next hour:

  • A SCANDAL sports fans: The Bengals are awful this year…What WILL Ohio do???
  • DANGER in your own home: House cats don’t like to swim!!!!!!!!!!! Or get wet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • EXTREME WEATHER FORECAST: RAIN in Portland this winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • A 1%’er CONS THE EDUCATED 99%: Successful capitalist pretends to be friendly to OWS just long enough get legit with his merchandise – proceeds will NOT be redistributed!
  • and lastly – just shocking!!! UNIONS plan to march with OWS to DEMAND– hold onto your hats peopleINFRASTRUCTURE JOBS!!

Apologies to our viewers….it appears that our internal sarcasm alert system has gone on overload and needs to be reset….we will be back on the air after this commercial break…

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One Comment leave one →
  1. November 14, 2011 8:29 am

    Hey, wait, the Bengals acutally only kinda suck this year…

    I do like the full-on denials that the Pelosi side is issuing. It’s like you say “no” enough and people believe it. Wait, with the media, that seems to be the case…

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