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Stop. Please.

April 18, 2010

Okay. You’ve convinced me. It’s inevitable. The seas will rise. The crops will fail. We’ll all die Die DIE becuase we’re evil humans.

No, I’m not talking Global Warming as inevitable. I’m talking that it’s inevitable that any time some weird disaster happens we’ll have a bunch of scientists trying to find a Climate Change angle so they can get funding. Credit to Jonah Goldberg at NRO for finding it first. I was out at the range and then on a hike most of the day.  But here’s the Reuters article:

A thaw of Iceland’s ice caps in coming decades caused by climate change may trigger more volcanic eruptions by removing a vast weight and freeing magma from deep below ground, scientists said on Friday.They said there was no sign that the current eruption from below the Eyjafjallajokull glacier that has paralysed flights over northern Europe was linked to global warming. The glacier is too small and light to affect local geology.

So, no, not THIS one, but the THE NEXT one… that’s us silly humans for sure.  Look, I’ll give credence to the theory only becase I’m not a geologist.  And the fact that some ice plug might be keeping the world safe from cancelled flights appeals to the fan of bad science fiction in me.  But really…  Let me digress for a second.

As a Gaia Theory scientist (no, I’m not, I’m a geek engineer, but bear with me), I see this as the perfect response to human-caused climate change.  Gaia has recognized that the evil human inhabitants are causing Her to get hot flashes, so She’s caused the volcano to erupt.  By spewing that ash into the air, the temperatures will now cool and give Her temporary relief.  We should be expecting the retaliatory earthquakes soon… oh, they’re already happening!

So does that sound any less stupid?  Is it any less realistic?  Your call.

And by the way, here’s a more informed opinion from a former volcano researcher:

 In short, the loss of all ice in Iceland would make the volcanoes less destructive

So apparently opinions differ.  I still like my theory.  Duck and cover all you carbon emitters.  Gaia is coming.

Oh, and as Teach as Pirate’s Cove points out:  If pollution causes global warming, what else can cause it?  Lack of pollution.  Yea, that causes global warming, too.

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